How do I “Unsee” All Those Pornographic Images?

In Brokenness, Consumption, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Habits, Pornography, Sex and Violence, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how to unsee all those pornographic images you’ve spent years viewing?

If so, you’re not alone.  In fact, that’s a common – and often misunderstood – part of the journey.  Especially when you want to make the transition from a life saturated by free-porn to a life that’s finally porn-free!

Once you decide it’s time to live a porn-free life, you begin to notice how hard it is to get all those images out of your head.

Many of us find ourselves fighting images every moment …
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Feeling, Rather than Fleeing, Pain!

In Addictions, Brokenness, Formation, Fully Awake, Habits, Loneliness, Psalms, Purpose and Meaning, Resolution, Soul-Care, Spiritual Formation by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Princess Bride, a modern fairy tale employing all of the standard elements like Royalty, clearly defined heroes and villains, stark contrasts between good and evil, hints of magic and happy endings, is one of my favorite flicks.

While there are so many parts of this movie that make one laugh, there are also just as many parts that offer insight.

In one poignant moment, just after Princess Buttercup is mocked by the “Dread Pirate Roberts” and before she rediscovers her long, lost Wesley, the Pirate King reminds her that …
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Ministry, MLK, and Making Time to Write

In Brokenness, Christian Leadership, Culture, Discipleship, Formation, Gospel, Love, Ministry, Spiritual Formation, Transforming Pastoral Leadership by Bizgainey6 Comments

Wow!

It’s been nearly a month since I’ve blogged.

I’ve been locked in a busy season of life and ministry.  For many involved in full-time (or even part-time and volunteer) ministry, the Advent Season is full and vibrant.  Busy but rewarding.

I find that, when ministry demands are high, moments for writing are few and far between.

That’s when I have to create space to write.

Time to Write Doesn’t Just Happen

This morning, I looked at my calendar and was stunned to find that it’s already January 10th.  We …
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The Story of A Church, Pt. 2: Discovering a Fairly “New” Thing!

In Brokenness, Cancer, Change, Formation, Prayer, Spiritual Formation, Transformation by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Story of a Church, Pt. 2: Discovering a Fairly “New” Thing!

When our Pillar family began this journey back in 2011, congregational resources related to spiritual formation and soul-care were scarce.  Further, communities attempting to practice a similar way of life were few and far between. 

We quite literally felt like an island unto ourselves.

I searched high and low for resources of all types – both people and places – that I could rely on or to whom I could turn for companionship.  Now and then someone or …
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Every New Year Begs the Question, “Can I Ever Really Change?”

In Brokenness, Change, Formation, Resolution, Spiritual Formation, Surrender, Transformation by Bizgainey3 Comments

Every New Year Begs the Question, “Can I Ever Really Change?”

The energetic and ardent sound of Gungor, what some have called an Alt-Folk band, has captured the attention of millions of followers since 2010.

With good reason.

One of my favorite pieces is their song, Beautiful Things.  Beautiful Things grabbed me the first time I heard the moving lyrics purr out of lead vocalist Lisa Gungor’s mouth.

It did so within the first stanza by asking a most penetrating question.

The question is one that dogs every human alive.  …
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The Ghost of Christmas Past: Wanting to Extinguish What Must Be Explored

In Advent, Blessing, Brokenness, Christmas, Imagination by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Ghost of Christmas Past: Wanting to Extinguish What Must Be Explored

Everything about the Ghost of Christmas Past is exceptional.

Everything.

While televised renditions attempt to capture its essence, all of them fail – some miserably so.

But, of course, how could they not?

The Ghost that Haunts Us All

Dickens imagines a complex and contradictory apparition.  Conveying the essence of the Ghost of Christmas Past is like trying to describe an ancient, angelic being.  The kind of being lodged in the bowels of Apocalyptic books like Daniel or …
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Does One Bad Moment Make Me a Monster?

In Addictions, Brokenness, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Habits, Pornography, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

During the early days of my journey out of porn addiction, I remember a time when I had been porn-free for about 90 days (yes, I numbered freedom by days, not months).  It was, at that time, the longest I had ever gone without clicking a website, watching a video, or trying to get porn in any form I could.

Then one day I crashed, badly.  All the signs were there; I just didn’t see them.  Either that or I simply refused to take note of them.

The triggers were:…
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Five Quick Tips for Parenting Against Porn

In Addictions, Brokenness, Culture, Formation, Parenting, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Five Quick Tips for Parenting Against Porn†

My wife and I – having three teenagers in our home – are raising children who are fully absorbed into the first technology-drenched generation.  As such, we’ve learned a few things – often through failure – that might help those of you who are walking in our shoes.

So, from the heart of one parent to another – if you are interested in PARENTING AGAINST PORN and guarding your child’s heart, then take a minute and consider the following FIVE QUICK TIPS.

Tip …
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“THANKS to my readers” and the “Top 5” of 2015

In Addictions, Brokenness, Community, Formation, Top Five of The Year by Bizgainey2 Comments

My final post of the year is usually one offering the most popular Disruptusrenovatus posts from the past 12 months – based on views, reads, shares and comments.

I wrote or published fifty-seven pieces during 2015. As one who has a full life and ministry in a great community – with a wonderful congregation – I find it hard to believe that I was able to produce that many articles.…
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Porn: Three Ways to Keep that “Gift” in it’s Box!!

In Advent, Brokenness, Christmas, Community, Desire, Formation, Habits, Pornography by Bizgainey2 Comments

This time of year – the Thanksgiving through mid-January holiday season (because the college bowl season has become its own holiday) –  is a particularly vibrant season for many of us.

Extended holiday seasons provide space to celebrate life and the loved ones with whom we live.  They are dotted with parties, engagements, gift – giving, year-end bonuses, festive feasts, etc.

While Holidays can offer joy and celebration, they also produce emotions ranging from anxiety and anger to stress and depression.  Many of these negative emotions are kept at bay …
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