Three Things I Wish I’d Known the Moment I Became a Dad!

In Children, Dad, Formation, Marriage, Parenting by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

I became a father in 1997.

It took a while for me to learn how to become a dad.  Through a series of not so pretty combustions, explosions, trials, and triumphs, I finally figured a few things out!

In keeping with the theme of this blog site, that lasting change requires ongoing disruption; I want to share three things I wish I’d known the moment I became a dad.

These things were discovered because I failed, often.…
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A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4

In Consumption, Culture, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4

As I reflect on my past of porn consumption/addiction, I cannot recall one moment of mutual consent.

In fact, the experience of viewing pornography is discordant on every level. While enticing one with passion, delight, and satisfaction, pornography is cloaked in power, domination, and self-absorption.

In short order, it’s all about consumption. The consumer both consumes and is consumed!

Porn consumption (a.k.a, viewing) ignites an insatiable urge to, first visually and then physically, consume the flesh of …
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Porn Consumption and Twelve (or so ) Alarming Trends Series!

In Addictions, Formation, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Porn Consumption and Twelve (or so) Alarming Trends, Pt. 2

Did you know that 4,599,000,000 hours of porn were watched last year alone.

That number is four billion, five hundred and ninety-nine million hours of porn viewed last year.

Let’s reflect on that number for a few minutes.

There are a total of 8,760 hours in a year.  That’s less than ten thousand. If one person were to watch that much porn, over a life time, they would require a life expectancy of somewhere in the five century range.…
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A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Consumption.

In Addictions, Consumption, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

If statistics related to porn consumption are correct, then it’s safe to assume that close to eight out of ten men view porn on a consistent basis.

If they are, as some believe, inflated, then it’s still safe to assume that somewhere between six out of ten men view porn consistently.

By consistent, I mean an average of several times a month.

That’s a pretty conservative estimation.  Admittedly, stats on viewing are difficult to determine, since viewing habits are secretly kept and rarely shared.  As one who has viewed porn …
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Christmas Morning: Opening the Gift of a Porn-Free Life!

In Addictions, Christmas, Consumption, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Christmas season is one of gift-giving and receiving.  In all likelihood you will, on Christmas morning, celebrate this gift-exchange tradition with friends and family.  You may gather around a tree, in a living room, near a fireplace, etc. and open gifts shared by those who love you and those whom you love.

If you happen to be struggling with your porn addiction during this season, you’ll likely be disengaged from this life-giving moment.

You may, in fact, totally check out.

Indeed, if you’ve been trolling the web for porn …
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I Love My Wife AND Friday Night Lights!!

In Football, Male and Female Relationships and Roles in Marriage, Marriage, Parenting, Pornography, Vero Beach Fighting Indians by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

In Vero Beach, where I live, high school football is a weekly tradition. For some, we might even call it a ritual.

We usually buy four season tickets and attend most of the home games. The team is fun to watch. Coach Jankowski and his staff do a stellar job (in my opinion) getting the team ready to play every Friday night: under the lights!

This year, our middle child is a rising freshman. He loves football.  He cannot wait to put on the pads and play ball for the …
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Distorted Desires and the Rhythms of Grace!

In Formation, Freedom, Marriage, Purpose and Meaning, Uncategorized by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

“I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you and all flesh and blood are.” –Shakespeare

These words of Shakespeare sound like the Hebrew prophet, Jeremiah, who said, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who knows how bad it is?”

Our desires – in and of themselves – are not bad, sinful or unnatural.  They are God-given and, when aimed toward God, they produce amazing outcomes. I believe, for example that all of humanity share at least three fundamental desires,

The Desire for
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Parenting: Sharing Leadership Helps Us Savor the Journey!

In Male and Female Relationships and Roles in Marriage, Marriage, Parenting, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Parenting is a deeply rewarding and relentlessly restless journey.  If you are anything like us (Melissa and me), then you have often experienced times of immense parenting joy as well as seasons of unending parenting angst.  Who among us hasn’t felt deep love for our children one minute and wanted to shake them into oblivion the next?

Put simply: parenting is as rewarding and wonderful as it is costly, complex and confusing. It’s no wonder many of us feel like failures, from time to time.  It’s no wonder parents carry …
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Calling All Parents: Watch that First Step. It’s a Doozy!!

In Addictions, Community, Marriage, Pornography, Uncategorized by Bizgainey2 Comments

When I was a child, my parents owned a beach house in Cherry Grove, North Carolina. It was common for our entire family – uncles, aunts, grandparents, first cousins, etc. – to descend on this beach house one or two long weekends each year. I loved these times with my family. To this day, they comprise some of my most vibrant childhood memories.

The beach house boasted a large deck with a flight of stairs leading down to the canal. We would often spend hours fishing and swimming in this …
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