Three Things I Wish I’d Known the Moment I Became a Dad!


I became a father in 1997.

It took a while for me to learn how to become a dad.  Through a series of not so pretty combustions, explosions, trials, and triumphs, I finally figured a few things out!

In keeping with the theme of this blog site, that lasting change requires ongoing disruption; I want to share three things I wish I’d known the moment I became a dad.

These things were discovered because I failed, often.

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Vero Beach, It’s Time We Begin to Believe Again! A State Championship is Coming to Town!


Vero Beach, It’s Time We Begin to Believe Again! A State Championship is Coming to Town!

Billy Livings is a legend in these parts.  Rightly so.

As the Fighting Indian head football coach, his teams won year, after year, after year, after year.

Vero’s last state championship win (in 1981) is indelibly attached to his name.

I had the privilege watching some of his teams in the late 90s.  My wife, a Vero girl, had the privilege of attending school and cheering on the sidelines during the Livings Legendary Era.

Believe me.  I know what I am talking about when I say this is “Livings” Country, when it comes to football.

Just cruise by the stadium where the Indians play and you’ll see, emblazoned on its exterior, Billy Livings Field.

Remembering The Past is Valuable But the Living in the Present is Vital

And, while, remembering the past is important, this post is about the present and future.

It’s a call to inspire our community to begin to believe again.


Because something special is happening.  Yes, that means another State Championship is coming to town, but I believe it means even more:

A new legacy is being birthed right before our eyes.

A new era has emerged.

And, while I am not sure how history will view this era or by what name it will be called, I am sure that it will be connected with the vision, passion, dedication, and drive of head coach, Lenny Jankowski, and the group of leaders he has gathered around himself!

This era, this legacy, is beginning to bloom before our very eyes.

It’s not, mind you, in full bloom, but its buds are opening and the aroma is sweet: the smell of championships.  Not just one, but many.

How do I know that?

What are my credentials?  Admittedly, they are minimal: I am a father of a player and a fan of the team.

A Father and A Fan

I will not always be a father of a player.  My son will go on to bigger and better things.

But I will always be a fan of this team – especially as long as Coach “J” and crew keep pouring into the young men our surrounding area sends their way.

They are a dedicated and tireless group of coaches who are trying to build champions on and off the field.  As I said, I am a father of a player, so I do have credentials in that regard!  I say this as a father whose son isn’t playing a ton because of injuries he’s sustained during the course of the year.

Through all of his struggles such as losing valuable playing time to players who have stepped up and played well, or through the agony of watching from the sidelines – while wanting to play on the field – he’s remained steadfast and hopeful.

And, yes, part of that is because it’s in the boy’s blood.

But a significant part of that is because he knows these coaches!

They have trained him, taught him, challenged him, and directed him in ways I simply couldn’t as his dad.  They have, in fact, come alongside of me and used the game they both love, to challenge him to become the man that they believe he can be.


Our coaches are building champions on and off the field.

That’s the signature mark of a legacy and it’s exactly what is happening right before our very eyes.

No More Passes

Last night, our team went down to Treasure Coast and beat, convincingly, a solid team.  In doing so, we secured a top spot in our district.  We have, in fact, beat a host of very good, well coached, and highly capable teams (including a road-win over Virginia power house, Oscar Smith), throughout this year!

Earlier in the week (week of October 13th game), a local sports writer predicted that Vero Beach would lose this game.  Now, I a willing to cut him some slack because when he made the prediction he was at a Treasure Coast High School pep rally.

But no more passes, people.

It’s time to believe again.

A new legacy is being birthed right before our eyes.

So come on out and join us on Friday nights.

I expect this team will be playing well into the winter this year. Honestly, I believe this team has a destiny with December 9th.

That’s the Championship game.  It’s already our game. We simply need to believe!

Get on board while this train is leaving the station.

This is the team and this is the season the entire community will look back on as the one that helped us believe again!

Disrupting to Renew!


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A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4


A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4

As I reflect on my past of porn consumption/addiction, I cannot recall one moment of mutual consent.

In fact, the experience of viewing pornography is discordant on every level. While enticing one with passion, delight, and satisfaction, pornography is cloaked in power, domination, and self-absorption.

In short order, it’s all about consumption. The consumer both consumes and is consumed!

Porn consumption (a.k.a, viewing) ignites an insatiable urge to, first visually and then physically, consume the flesh of another. Once we give in to this desire, we are sacrificed on the altar of power, control, and self-inflicted slavery.

I often utilize Zombies as a metaphor for the personal (and ultimately societal) enslavement that porn addiction causes.  I do so because a common characteristic of Zombies is the insatiable desire to consume another human being, becoming less human with each bite!

Becoming less human is what precisely happens in the heart and mind of someone who is consistently viewing or is addicted to pornography.

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Posted in Consumption, Culture, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment