Five Practical Pointers for Parenting Tweens in an Age of Porn!

In Addictions, Parenting, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Parenting is tough work.

Particularly these days.

Parents today are forced to raise children who are exposed multiple levels of input at ages early than ever before.

For example, most parents are likely unaware of what happened during the years of 2008 – 2011 regarding pornographic content available to tweens.

Do you remember what you were doing between the years of 2008 – 2011?

Not sure?

Yeah.  Me either.

Pornography and Preteens or Tweens

But I can tell you what Pornographers were doing.  They were trapping our preteens and tweens.

How?

By using smartphones as highways into their heart and soul.

According to Dr. John Foubert, in these three years alone, porn exposure for children under the age of 13 jumped from 14% in 2008 to 49% in 2011.

That’s a 35% increase in THREE short years.

Dr Foubert further insists that pornography is a recipe for rape.  Over 80% of porn scenes exhibit violence against women.  In these scenes, 90% of the women involved respond positively to the violence.  Therefore, porn creates a culture in which the sexual experience and violence against women become normative and desirable.

Question the research all you want.

Doubt the connection between porn and violence, if you wish.

But you are wrong.

You are wrong, in fact, about the most important and prolific social toxin that pollutes our youth and preteen culture today.  

We have raised an entire generation within this culture of dehumanization.  A culture that porn has, unilaterally, helped create – and insists – is normative.

The porn industry moguls should be held accountable.

Holding the porn industry accountable and seeking the eradication of porn – in my life time – is something I am increasingly more concerned with and focused on pursuing!

Until that day arrives, I want to help parents navigate the landmines in this porn-saturated field of life.

So, in today’s post, I will offer Five Practical Pointers for Parenting Tweens in an Age of Porn.

I hope they help.

Five Practical Pointers for Parenting Tweens in An Age of Porn

  1. Wake Up To The Reality of Porn’s Pervasive Presence! Porn is everywhere and it’s becoming normative.  I don’t care where your child goes to school – parochial, private, home school, or public – they are being exposed to porn and usually experience some exposure as early as seven to nine years of age.
  2. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!  Begin by asking questions of your child.  Become aware of the friends your child(ren) hang around.  Engage them in meaningful conversation and make decisions regarding the level of access they have to technology, particularly smartphones.  You’ll want to know something about the parents of your child’s friends as well.  Unfortunately many parents are blind to or ignorant of the perils of porn!
  3. Be Clear: Porn is a Distortion of All That’s True and Good!  Let your child know that you want him or her to experience wonderful sexual Intimacy: with the right person, at the right time, in the right way.  The more exposure they have to porn, the less likely this will become.  Porn has no intrinsic nor redemptive value, period!
  4. Be “Appropriately” Open and Honest!  If you struggle with – or have struggled with – porn addiction, confess and share your struggle.  You don’t have to make a full confession that isn’t appropriate for your young child to hear, but let them know you struggle.  If you are married, have this conversation with your spouse present, so they understand – intuitively – that you experience openness and honestly within your union.
  5. Don’t Overreact, But Don’t Delay in Getting Help.  If you catch your son our daughter consuming porn, respond with grace, but don’t ignore the issue.  This is tricky.  If you overreact, your child may recoil and go into a shell, but if you don’t take some intentional steps, your child may experience mixed emotions. There are hundreds of great resources.  If you need a hand, shoot me an email at biz@menagainstporn.org. I’ll try to steer you in the right direction.

I am no doctor, social worker, or psychologist.  I am a dad who was addicted to and continues to fight against porn’s pull in my life and our world.

If my words help you, please share them with someone you know!  We must be diligent to spread the word!

Disrupting to Renew!

Biz

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