Can I Be Clean Without a Full Confession?

In Addictions, Consumption, Culture, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

When considering addiction, particularly porn, I don’t believe you can ever be free unless you fully confess!

Therefore, I often tell men who come to me for help that the most crucial step in your recovery and restoration process is the step of confession.

There is simply no way you will ever be whole if you don’t fully confess.

I don’t care what the addiction or compulsion is:

Porn or sexual addiction. Alcohol. Anger (yes, that can be an addiction). The internet or social media. Recreational or prescription drugs. Work,…
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Why I Can’t Stop Writing About Porn and How I Hope to Help You Break Free!

In Addictions, Consumption, Formation, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

I want to pick up where I left off many weeks ago: writing about the church – specifically, the church as a new kind of community.

A few weeks ago, however, I realized that I have to begin writing about pornography, again.

Honestly, I don’t want to write about pornography.  I wish it (porn, I mean) simply weren’t a “thing.”

But it is a “thing.”  It’s a terribly toxic “thing” that I suspect is worse than you know.

Solicitation and Sex-Trafficking in Our Backyard

In our small community, the authorities …
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A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4

In Consumption, Culture, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4

As I reflect on my past of porn consumption/addiction, I cannot recall one moment of mutual consent.

In fact, the experience of viewing pornography is discordant on every level. While enticing one with passion, delight, and satisfaction, pornography is cloaked in power, domination, and self-absorption.

In short order, it’s all about consumption. The consumer both consumes and is consumed!

Porn consumption (a.k.a, viewing) ignites an insatiable urge to, first visually and then physically, consume the flesh of …
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A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Consumption.

In Addictions, Consumption, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

If statistics related to porn consumption are correct, then it’s safe to assume that close to eight out of ten men view porn on a consistent basis.

If they are, as some believe, inflated, then it’s still safe to assume that somewhere between six out of ten men view porn consistently.

By consistent, I mean an average of several times a month.

That’s a pretty conservative estimation.  Admittedly, stats on viewing are difficult to determine, since viewing habits are secretly kept and rarely shared.  As one who has viewed porn …
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One Ounce of Prevention . . . Kids and Porn

In Freedom from Porn, Habits, Men Against Porn, Parenting, Pornography, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

“One ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

This axiom, credited to Benjamin Franklin, is as true today as it was then.  Especially if you want to help your kids steer clear of pornography.

This quick post is designed to do that very thing: help you help your kids steer clear of pornography.

I am a father of three teenagers.  I am a man who has won hard-fought freedom from porn’s grip.  This ‘ounce’ of prevention is designed to give you some handles so that you can do …
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Christmas Morning: Opening the Gift of a Porn-Free Life!

In Addictions, Christmas, Consumption, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Christmas season is one of gift-giving and receiving.  In all likelihood you will, on Christmas morning, celebrate this gift-exchange tradition with friends and family.  You may gather around a tree, in a living room, near a fireplace, etc. and open gifts shared by those who love you and those whom you love.

If you happen to be struggling with your porn addiction during this season, you’ll likely be disengaged from this life-giving moment.

You may, in fact, totally check out.

Indeed, if you’ve been trolling the web for porn …
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Does One Bad Moment Make Me a Monster?

In Addictions, Brokenness, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Habits, Pornography, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

During the early days of my journey out of porn addiction, I remember a time when I had been porn-free for about 90 days (yes, I numbered freedom by days, not months).  It was, at that time, the longest I had ever gone without clicking a website, watching a video, or trying to get porn in any form I could.

Then one day I crashed, badly.  All the signs were there; I just didn’t see them.  Either that or I simply refused to take note of them.

The triggers were:…
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Recognizing Triggers and Traps in Overcoming Porn Addiction, Part 2

In Addictions, Freedom from Porn, Fully Awake, Men Against Porn, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

In my last post, I wrote about the importance of identifying the Trying Season.

The Trying Season is that moment or season of life where stress grows and relief is needed.  Porn exploits those times of our life and extracts our dignity in the process.

Today I am going to consider another trigger we need to be aware of in our fight against porn.  It is,

The Teasing Sensation.

Life is full of teasers.  A teaser is, according to Merriam-Webster, “something that is done, offered, or shown to make …
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Recognizing Triggers and Traps in Overcoming Porn Addiction, Part 1

In Addictions, Formation, Freedom from Porn, Male and Female Relationships and Roles in Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Technology by Bizgainey1 Comment

I struggled with porn addiction for years before I realized that certain moments, thoughts, people, or places were triggers.  These triggers, when encountered, would ignite my desire and drive my decision-making process.†

After years of encountering them – and failing in that moment – I learned to recognize them and be on guard against them.  I’ve also learned that you can survive these triggers – even thrive in the midst of them, with a few steps and/or strategies.

A couple of the triggers and traps I’ve noticed through the years …
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Five Quick Tips for Parenting Against Porn

In Addictions, Brokenness, Culture, Formation, Parenting, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Five Quick Tips for Parenting Against Porn†

My wife and I – having three teenagers in our home – are raising children who are fully absorbed into the first technology-drenched generation.  As such, we’ve learned a few things – often through failure – that might help those of you who are walking in our shoes.

So, from the heart of one parent to another – if you are interested in PARENTING AGAINST PORN and guarding your child’s heart, then take a minute and consider the following FIVE QUICK TIPS.

Tip …
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