A Memorial Day “Number” to Remember: 63,922

In Addictions, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Pastoral Ministry, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

This Monday, the 27th of May, is Memorial Day.

It’s the day our country sets apart as a day to remember all the men and women who have died while serving in the United States military.  Nearly every city in our country will offer some service or “moment” this coming Monday.

We are encouraged to pause, reflect, and – most importantly – remember the high cost of freedom.  Indeed, many Sunday morning houses of worship will join the chorus calling us to remember!

As you prepare for this day, I’d …
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Can I Be Clean Without a Full Confession?

In Addictions, Consumption, Culture, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

When considering addiction, particularly porn, I don’t believe you can ever be free unless you fully confess!

Therefore, I often tell men who come to me for help that the most crucial step in your recovery and restoration process is the step of confession.

There is simply no way you will ever be whole if you don’t fully confess.

I don’t care what the addiction or compulsion is:

Porn or sexual addiction. Alcohol. Anger (yes, that can be an addiction). The internet or social media. Recreational or prescription drugs. Work,…
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How do I “Unsee” All Those Pornographic Images?

In Brokenness, Consumption, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Habits, Pornography, Sex and Violence, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how to unsee all those pornographic images you’ve spent years viewing?

If so, you’re not alone.  In fact, that’s a common – and often misunderstood – part of the journey.  Especially when you want to make the transition from a life saturated by free-porn to a life that’s finally porn-free!

Once you decide it’s time to live a porn-free life, you begin to notice how hard it is to get all those images out of your head.

Many of us find ourselves fighting images every moment …
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Easter: A Celebration of God’s Self-Giving Love and Beauty!

In Consumption, Delight in God, Desire, Discipleship, Easter, Formation, Freedom, Love by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Easter: A Celebration of God’s Self-Giving Love and Beauty!

Are there ever moments in your life when your desire feels ravenous?

Moments when you are just never satisfied, always longing for, wanting, or craving bigger, better, more?

I use the term ravenous to mean intensely eager for satisfaction or gratification.  I have written extensively on this blog regarding the prevalence of desire within the human soul.

We can all probably agree, at least on some level, that many of our decisions related to how we spend our time and where …
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Do You Remember When?

In Contemplation, Formation, Freedom, Fully Awake, Habits, Spiritual Formation by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

I concluded last week’s blog with the following question:

Do you remember when you last felt the Word of Christ dwelling richly in you?

Now, before you read further, pause and identify that moment or those moments when you recall sensing the deep indwelling of the presence of Christ in your life.

We never seem to have enough money, time, sleep, coffee, joy, love, etc.

We all – at times – complain about our lack of resources.  We decry our lack of time and we sulk when we see others …
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Christmas Morning: Opening the Gift of a Porn-Free Life!

In Addictions, Christmas, Consumption, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Christmas season is one of gift-giving and receiving.  In all likelihood you will, on Christmas morning, celebrate this gift-exchange tradition with friends and family.  You may gather around a tree, in a living room, near a fireplace, etc. and open gifts shared by those who love you and those whom you love.

If you happen to be struggling with your porn addiction during this season, you’ll likely be disengaged from this life-giving moment.

You may, in fact, totally check out.

Indeed, if you’ve been trolling the web for porn …
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Does One Bad Moment Make Me a Monster?

In Addictions, Brokenness, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Habits, Pornography, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

During the early days of my journey out of porn addiction, I remember a time when I had been porn-free for about 90 days (yes, I numbered freedom by days, not months).  It was, at that time, the longest I had ever gone without clicking a website, watching a video, or trying to get porn in any form I could.

Then one day I crashed, badly.  All the signs were there; I just didn’t see them.  Either that or I simply refused to take note of them.

The triggers were:…
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Beholding True Beauty! Traps and Triggers, Part 4.

In Addictions, Culture, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Men Against Porn, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Triggers and Traps: The Trap Day

I know the term Trap Day is an unfamiliar one.  It is, in fact, not one I have heard of anywhere else.  That’s because it’s one that is birthed from my personal journey out of porn addiction and into a porn-free life.  In my experience the Trap Day is a day of ongoing struggle with porn’s pull.  It’s a day when one is particularly susceptible to porn and its destructive power of persuasion.

The Trap Day is as unexpected as it is unavoidable.

The …
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Recognizing Triggers and Traps, Part 3.

In Addictions, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Men Against Porn, Pornography by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Triggers and Traps: The Tempting Situation

As I write this post on preparing for and resisting The Tempting Situation, I am sitting in a Starbucks drinking my customary Grande Bold Coffee, black.

Here is what I can tell you based on this one morning in Starbucks: For those of us who are trying to live a porn-free life, or who are trying to maintain a porn-free life, temptations abound, and they are everywhere.

We will, at some point, be tempted or face a Tempting Situation, in which our …
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With Desire So Demanding, Why is God So Distant?

In Desire, Discipleship, Formation, Freedom, Fully Awake, Purpose and Meaning, Spiritual Formation, Surrender by Bizgainey1 Comment

The first month of a new year is often a time of expectancy and hope. The onset of the new year typically provides a few weeks during which we celebrate the goodness of God, the faithful promise keeper! We carry with us new visions of satisfaction; replacing yesterday’s memories of despair and hunger. Indeed, we hope – at least in some measure – to discover satisfaction and fulfillment in the year ahead. That’s why I have spent the bulk of January reflecting on the nature and nurture of soul satisfying …
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